I heard a talk by Tara Brach about listening a while back, and some of it really stuck with me. She recommended coming to a conversation with no personal agenda, only the intention to create space – space to really hear the other person.
The trick is if we are preoccupied with our own life and struggles – whether they are related to this other person or not – it can be difficult to put our thoughts aside. If we can’t quiet our own minds, we need to be aware and admit that we don’t have the listening presence to offer that person in that particular moment. Half listening does no one any good.
As I find myself in a time of transition and varying emotions, I am 100% in self-care mode, which for me is a mode primarily of solitude. Curious as to why I am being drawn to communicate (or not) with certain individuals right now, I realized I want to interact only with those I believe are currently able to offer a sacred space. It’s not about whether I like those people more or think they are better friends. It’s not about whether I think they can relate to what I’m experiencing. It’s their ability to listen or just be with me – to not question or offer advice, but simply offer a loving, nonjudgmental space – so that I can be however it is that I’m going to be in that moment. For that is exactly what I need (and what we all need, I believe).
I am blessed to have multiple people in my life who have cultivated this ability, and I am trusting the Universe to prompt me to reach out to the best choice for each moment. If I don’t reach out to you or accept an invitation from you, please do not take it personally. I still love you, but I do not have the capacity at this moment to be a listening presence for anyone but myself. I am doing the work and the healing I need to do to move forward an even brighter version of me, and I’ll be glad to show up for you when I can.
To all my friends, thank you for understanding that I may not be too social for a while, but know that I am sending my love to all of you while I take good care of myself.
And when I am able, I will do my best to create a sacred space to hear you the next time we communicate. ~ CW